Msg # 7602   
Date: 23 Mar 94  10:40:00
From: Bob Johnstone
  To: Joanna Benz
Subj: RE: TAPES
____________________________________________________________________________

 > No, I can't walk by myself most of the time, as I am afraid I will
 > suddenly get sick and black out.  Sometimes John does take me to
 > the park to feed the squirrels.  Will try to get out into nature
 > a little more, maybe that WILL help...

 Even if you cant get more time to do so, sitting or lying down and recalling
times that you did will help more than you might believe.  Do it for 3
months, and then think back about how you were feeling now, and you will
become even more aware of how much it helps.  What happens as we feel better,
we get used to feeling that way, then we forget how we felt months ago and
dont realize that we are actually feeling better.  Many times _others_
especially those who have not seen us for weeks, will remark about the change
in us, before we recognize any change has taken place.

 >AJ> play music that is relaxing.  There are a number of CD's and tapes
 >AJ> out now that have music and nature put together.
 >
 > Yes, I know these kinds of tapes can be very relaxing.  So can
 > meditating, though I haven't been able to do that.

   It takes no effort to get the same effect, if you sit or lie down and put
earphones on to block out your environment, then close your eyes while
listening to music or environmental tapes..... if you cant find them in a
local tape store, metaphysical stores always have them available.

   Steven Halpern's "Anti-Frantic" music is excellent, he has a Ph.D. in
music and a Masters in Psychology, has been specializing in music to reduce
stress for many years.

   Bearns & Dexter also have made some good tapes for Meditation.

   The environmental tapes by Syntonic Research (also their CD Disc's) are
about the best environmental sounds you can get.

   Zamfir's flute music is another I really enjoy for Meditating.

   You can even be in the same room when listening, just using headphones as
he listens to TV, and I find that many people feel better, as if they have
company even if not talking as long as they are in the same room.

 >AJ> ideas can help or maybe lead to some other ideas that will help you
 >AJ> and your husband to have victory in your lives and in your marriage.
 >
 > I've been very upset over the past few months cause things have not
 > been getting any better.  However, since I told John I'm thinking
 > about moving out on my own, he has agreed to try counseling.
 > Unfortunately, he'll be on a waiting list for 2 months before he can
 > get any help.

  You can feel better about this, if you focus on the fact he will be in
counselling instead of that it will take 2 months.  Some of that time has
already passed, so it will not even be this long.... ;-)

 > I do think I would feel much better if I could get away from John
 > for awhile and live on my own.  But, realistically, this is a pretty
 > tall order, since I can't drive or do many other things without help...

 Many feel this way, but find it is not true.  When we leave we also take our
own problems with us and only dealing with the situation gives good results.
One client of mine went on and on for months, (she was only coming in once a
month, when I felt she needed weekly sessions) if she could only leave her
parents home and visit her aunt in OK, she would feel so much better.  For
three months she kept bringing it up, and finally left.  BUT, she brought all
the same thoughts to OK with her, and was still obsessing on her problems
there.  After a month there, she realized it would never change until she
learned to deal with her problems, and returned to live with her parents. At
that time she commited to coming in weekly for sessions, withing 8 weeks was
dramaticly better.  Stopped obsessing about her "boyfriend" who had abused
her and then left her to move out of state.  She packed all his pictures, and
mementoes in a box and stuck them out in the garage, to get on with LIVING.

 > I'm not sure what's gonna happen...  I do know that one of these
 > days, he will wake up and smell the coffee.  I just hope it's SOON !

 IF he has agreed to counselling, he may already have done so, and it will
just take him time.  You will feel better if you make a decision to allow him
the time necessary to make some changes, and make the decision again and
again each time you think about it.

 Dr Bob

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