Msg # 5598   
Date: 08 May 94  13:05:00
From: Bob Johnstone
  To: Anton Johnson
Subj: RE: NEW TO THE AREA
____________________________________________________________________________

 > Dear Reid, I have found that a great way to meet folks is to attend
 > a local church if you are inclined in this direction.  Another way
 > is to join local hobbie groups.  Very often you will begin to rub
 > shoulders with folks from all walks of life.  In my studies I have
 > learned that a person with the right kind of friends will have maybe
 > 2-3 intimate friends (best friends), maybe a dozen or so close
 > friends (camping, tennis, etc...) and then a whole bunch of casual
 > friends.  The rest fall into the catagory of acquantinces.  The ones
 > I concentrate on are the intimate friends. Two or three of these is
 > worth all the rest put together!  Anton...

   Hi Anton!

   Been busier since I retired than I ever was before, dont know how thats
possible, but finally have some time allocated for more important things than
what I have been doing.  [grin]

   Everyone meet Anton, one of the users on my BBS since the early days,
every time I see his name it is like seeing the name of an old friend, and it
creates good feelings.

   He has a lot of good ideas, and I would agree that church is one of the
best ways to make new friends.  And hobbie groups another, some of the
longest term friendships I have came from one or the other.  One friend that
I met in '72 remained a friend for over 12 years even though he moved out of
state.  He visited here once a year and I visitied him in Chicago once a
year.  He has just moved back to CA a few months ago, and we feel as close as
if he had never been out of state.  He is one of the reasons I have been so
busy the past few months.  He moved in with me for a time, while I was
helping him find his "ideal" place to live.  Finances were naturally a
consideration, so even though I live in Anaheim, he had to live out in the
desert and chose Apple Valley, purchasing a Mobile Home out there.  It means
an hour and a half ride to visit him or for him to come here, but when we do
he stays overnight here several nights a month, and I stay there a couple.
Nice to be retired.  :)

   While helping him find a used Mobile Home, I stumbled across one here in
Orange County, that was "an offer I could not refuse" someone was paying
double rent as they purchased one elsewhere, and as a LOT of people are
moving out of CA due to the lack of employment he did not get one caller in
answer to his ads.  He offered it thru a broker, no response.  He lowered the
price, no response.  He lowered it again.  Finally, I saw it, and gave him a
deposit even though I had no idea where I was going to get the money for the
balance. Told my friend about it, and HE LOANED ME THE MONEY AT NO INTEREST,
as his fathers estate had just been settled.  So I bought a 24X40 Mobile
Home, moved in, got the phone lines up, and put my BBS back online.  Had to
do quite a bit of work getting moved, fixing the yard (as the place had not
been lived in for two years) washing and waxing the outside. And I had always
thought waxing a car was bad!  [grin]

   We will generally have only a few friends who are REALLY BEST FRIENDS,
more friends, some casual friends, and lots of aquaintences in life.  For
many years Don has been my friend, I worked as his therapist for nothing (he
is disabled, but does more than many who we would not consider disabled.)
Also helped his three children and wife with many of their problems as they
grew up.  Those on total disability can have family problems which other
families could never conceive of having.  For years he was more a member of
MY family, than my own siblings were.  We are born into a family, and have
relatives, but we can CHOOSE people we have much more in common with to be
part of our extended family.  Those who have been in Combat will know what I
am talking about, when they call another Vet "brother" for danger seems to
create an atmosphere that bonds people together like no other.  You feel
closer to a man who has saved your life or that you trust enough to protect
your back, than to any biological "brother."  And though Don was never in
combat, he is such a "brother" to me, I have been willing to do _anything_
for him that I could.  Not because he could do anything for me, but because I
KNEW that he would if he could.  He never could in the past, but when he
offered to loan me the money without me even asking, it floored me, (I did
not even dream he could) but he proved what I had always believed, he said
"just the week before the minister was talking about friendship.  That he
said according to the Bible, if you have a FRIEND in need, and you can loan
them money to help them, you should do so without charging interest, and let
them pay it back at a rate they can afford."

 Now, there will be very FEW friends like that in a lifetime.  At times I
have thought I had one, did things for them and they paid me back by abusing
my trust, etc.  At one time so badly that I swore that never again would I
ever get that close or feel I could trust anyone.  But, then after a few
months, I realized that the ONLY person that I was hurting was myself.  That
it was also because I did not _have_ enough "friends" so that when one showed
he was NOT really a friend, it hurt too much.  Make the most of life, go out
aggressively to make as many "aquaintences" as possible, make enough of them,
it takes some work and time on your part.  But, some of them will turn out to
be casual friends, others will be good friends, and a very FEW will be the
kind of BEST FRIENDS, that we are.  As my father said, "Cast your bread on
the waters and it comes back as sandwiches."

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